


Anxious (Pete Wentz)

by MManson364



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: F/M, Love, underage love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 05:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5616214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MManson364/pseuds/MManson364
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phoenix is 14 and never thought she would be where she is now. After dealing with borderline abusive parents among other things, she moves in with her long life best friend/ the man who basically is her uncle. She has known him her whole life but little did they know they would develop a different type of feelings for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Phoenix, wake up! We have to go to Pete's house today!" , I heard my mom shout. 

The thing was, I knew we had to go to Pete's house that day. I had been dreading it. I had been anxious about it for two weeks, See, I had met Pete. He had been a co-worker of my dad's and they were friends. After Pete found out how they treated me he stopped being friends with them and only came to our house to protect me. He just acted like he was friends with them. Anyway, that wasn't a problem. Pete was great. He was basically my best friend. He knew how my parents acted towards me and when I was upset I could call him and he would either calm me down or talk me through it. The problem was I had never actually been to Pete's house. He always came to ours. And Pete lived with three other guys. And I don't do too good with new people and new places.

Growing up, my parents never really addressed my problems. If I fell on the concrete or off of my bike they would tell me to, "shut the f*** up crying" or to "stop whining about it". That was while I was about four or five years old... So I'm sure you can imagine how they reacted when the anxiety started. I could be up in my room shaking and crying because my chest hurt so bad because of the anxiety. And not once would they ever come and check on me or ask me if I was okay. They told me to "get over it" and that I was "overreacting"... "exaggerating" The first time I had an anxiety attack was when I was twelve. I do/did a lot of internet research and I found this mental disorder that described exactly how I felt on a daily basis. 

"I'm coming mom" I shouted back. 

When I got downstairs, it started. You know how your stomach and chest feel when you're around your crush? Yeah that happens with anxiety too. A lot. I ate a few bites of my cereal but not much because I felt sick. 

"Phoenix eat your god d*** cereal! Are you going to go anorexic on us too?"

They always did this. They mad fun of my anxiety. I can't help that they have never experienced it. 

"Get in the car"

I climbed into the back seat of the car and a couple minutes later we took off.

Usually when I felt like this I would try to distract myself with my phone but they took it way. They took away my coping method because I "spent too much time on it".

When we pulled into a driveway my heart was going ninety miles an hour. I didn't want to go in there and meet people. But I knew that they weren't going to let me out of it so I didn't fight it.

My dad knocked on the door and Pete answered it. "Come on in"

I was shaking by that point. I don't think it was noticeable to anyone but me though. And Pete because Pete usually noticed things that were wrong with me before I did. Me and my parents sat down on a couch. My breathing was unsteady. We were met by three other men. They sat on a couch making an "L" shape with the one we were sitting on. One was short and kind of chubby. He had light brown hair and was wearing a fedora and a cardigan. One had longer brown curly hair. One had short dark hair, a long beard, and lots of tattoos which I could see because he didn't have on a shirt. Pete sat down beside me.

 

My parents started talking to the three men who I did not know. From where Pete was sitting (to my left) he couldn't really join in the conversation. But to be honest it didn't too much look like he wanted to. He wasn't looking at the men and my parents. Every time I looked at him he was looking at me. Meanwhile, my anxiety got worse. I was biting my nails and the skin around them and my lip. I was scratching at the skin on my hand which was another nervous habit I had. I had many many scars from doing this until it bled. 

I'm pretty sure Pete noticed everything that I was doing because he mouthed a small "are you okay" to me with a genuinely worried expression. I just nodded my head. When I knew I was on the edge of having a full blown anxiety attack I asked my mom where the bathroom was in an attempt to get out of there as quickly as possible. She was about to tell me when Pete jumped up and said "I'll show her"  I felt safer around Pete than I did anyone else in that whole room. So when he grabbed my wrist and practically dragged me to the bathroom I just went along with it. I didn't care where I was as long as it was out of that room and with Pete. 

"Hey, Phoenix, are you okay? Don't lie to me. I'm not letting you leave until you calm down a little bit. 

"How the f*** can I calm down Pete? I don't know any of these people!  And I don't know why I have to be here. And I don't know why I get so f***ing nervous, Pete. I hate anxiety. I...I..." then I started crying. I dropped to my knees and sobbed.

Pete got down on the ground with me and held my hand and hugged me. 

"I understand how you feel right now."

"No you don't. There is no way a huge successful rock star like you knows how it feels to be terrified of every single thing that comes their way. Anxiety f***ing sucks man and there is no way you know how it feels. You wouldn't be up on that stage in front of all those people if you did."

"Trust me I do. I have anxiety too. Its not as bad now as it used to be though. I have been exactly where you are."

I just sobbed some more. I felt so safe and at home in his arms. 

"Why do I feel safe with you?" I finally got up the courage to ask.

"Because I would never do anything to hurt you."

 

And in that moment I knew what he said was true.


	2. Chapter 2

    In the midst of my panic, I realized that if me and Pete were gone together this long and we were supposedly in the bathroom people would probably be suspicious. Especially since I'm 15 and he is 22...

     Eventually I stopped crying and dried my face. While I stood at the mirror, Pete stood behind me and hugged me from behind. It made me happy.

Pete and I weren't in a relationship because technically it wasn't legal, but we might as well have been. The only couple-y things we hadn't done was have sex or kiss. But something inside me told me I was in love with this man and that he felt the same way about me.

     I told Pete that I should leave back into the living room first and if they asked he could say after he showed me where the bathroom was he went to his room to check his phone.

     I sat down on the couch where Pete had been sitting just so I didn't have to be close to anyone but him. When he came back he interrupted everyone's conversation to ask if he could take me into town since I had never been in this part of California. My parents agreed but acted irritated as if they were pissed that Pete would interrupt their conversation about god knows what to ask a question about something as unimportant as me.

     Pete walked outside and I followed.

"Thanks for getting me out of there" I said gratefully.

"No problem Phoenix. You know I would do anything for you."

"I know..."

     I got in the passenger seat of the car and we drove off. I had no idea where he was taking me and to be honest I didn't really care. It got me out of that situation.

"Where are we going Pete?" I asked.

"I'm not sure to be honest" he said.

I laughed. I only ever laughed or smiled when I was around Pete and I think he knew that because every time he made me laugh or smile he smiled. Even if it wasn't anything funny. I think he was just proud he could break me out of my shell for a while. 

     We ended up in Starbucks of all places. We both got caramel frappes simply because it was easier to say we both wanted the same thing. That Starbucks always messed up orders. We eventually finished our coffees in silence.

     My parents knew about how close me and Pete were. They didn't really care about the age difference either. Simply because they didn't care about me. They didn't care if I got hurt. They wouldn't care if Pete was a bad guy either. They just don't care. They also don't care where I go on weekends as long as I'm not in the house. And with my situation I try to stay out of the house as much as possible. Usually I stayed with my aunt. She knew how my parents were but she had gotten to the point where she was almost like them. Not giving a flying f*** about me. 

Me and Pete made our way to the park to kill some time. We were roaming the trails and he was holding my hand. He used to do that so I wouldn't scratch at my skin when I was nervous but now he does it whenever we are walking for no reason. But hey I am not complaining.

"Hey Pete?"

"Yeah?" 

"Do you think I could stay over with you this weekend? Its just I don't want to stay at home and I don't want to go to my aunts house. Its ok if you don't want me too. You know what you probably don't. I'm sorry I asked. I'm sorry."

"Woah Ash, h*** yeah you can stay over. You didn't even have to explain. Why would I say no?" 

"I don't know."

"You can come over whenever you want and you can stay as long as you want. I am a chill person."

 

I jumped in front of him and hugged him. He hugged me back. I loved him so much.

We continued walking down the trails. It was pretty dark but that made the sky and trees and thing prettier. I liked night time. Pete and I found a small island like area in the lake and decided to go to it to chill for a little bit. We found a boulder and climbed up to sit on it. That was the most calm I had been in a long time. I felt so happy and at peace when I was with Pete. It was a feeling I couldn't explain.

We sat in silence for a long time and he was still holding my hand. Suddenly I felt him move his hand and I was sad at first but he was repositioning to where I was sitting on his lap facing him.

"F*** you're so beautiful, Phoenix"

I didn't know if I should say anything to that so I didn't. I didn't want to ruin that moment because I had a feeling about what was coming next.

We both just looked in each other's eyes for a while. It seemed like hours but it was only a few minutes. Pete started moving his face closer to mine and I knew I was about to receive my first kiss from the only man I could imagine sharing it with. It seemed like years before his lips actually pressed against mine but when they did and I know this is cliché but I felt sparks. Scratch that it wasn't sparks it was more like an explosion. I was so happy but in the back of my mind I knew that it was wrong. I was underage. How would people react.? We couldn't let anyone know. How would we hide it? What if someone found out? Probably the words that sum up anxiety best are "but in the back of my head" or just "but". Even when I was completely calm I couldn't help but overthink. I had nothing to worry about did I? No I was safe with Pete. He would never hurt me. Never. 

"I love you" Pete said. 

I hesitated. I knew I loved him and I knew I wanted to tell him but I was scared. I had no reason to be but I was.

"I...I... love you ... too... Pete" I finally stuttered out. 

He giggled at my stuttering.

"You're adorable." he said.

I smiled.

"Come on I should probably take you to my house now"

"Okay" 

He stood up, helped me down, took my hand, and we walked to his car. My parents were just leaving and I told them I was staying with Pete and they didn't even hesitate to say okay and leave. Why did they even have a child if they never wanted to be around me?


	3. Chapter 3

When me and Pete got back to his house he told me to hold on in the living room for a minute. I was confused until he came back with one of his roommates. 

"So Phoenix, this is Patrick" 

So the one with the fedora is Patrick okay...

I was a little nervous but it wasn't unbearable yet. 

"Hi Phoenix, its good to meet you. Pete talks about you all the time." he said while reaching his hand out to shake mine. Pete scratched the back of his head and looked at the ground. He was blushing. It was adorable.

I shook his hand and smiled and I could tell he knew how nervous I was.

"Well I guess I am going to go on up to bed, it was nice meeting you Phoenix."

"You too." I said quietly.

Pete sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to him with his hand. I sat down and leaned into him. He put his arm around me. He must have been sleepy because when he talked to me his words were running together and he was kind of mumbling. It was really cute.

"Phoenix, where do you want to sleep tonight? I can sleep on the couch if you want my bed. I'm good with anything." 

"No Pete, I'll sleep on the couch you can have your bed."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive" 

He smiled at my last words and stood up. He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead then my lips. 

"Goodnight beautiful" He said with a sleepy smile on his face.

"Goodnight" I said with a huge grin on my face.

Pete left to go to his room and I got the blanket off of the back of the couch and laid down. That was a great day.

After I had been asleep for about two hours, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I wasn't anxious quite yet but I was unsettled I guess. I contemplated going to try and find Pete's room and ask to sleep with him but I was scared to. What if he said no? What if I accidentally opened someone else's room? What if he got mad that I woke him? I eventually convinced myself to get up and find his room. I got up and felt my way through the pitch black room. I found the stairs and walked up them. I knew his room was up here because this was where he went when he left the living room. I guessed at which room was his and I failed. It was not his room. It was Patrick's. Luckily he wasn't asleep and he was fully dressed. He was sitting at his desk typing something on his computer. He immediately looked up at me.

"Do you need something Phoenix?"

"Oh my god I am so sorry. I was just looking for Pete, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He giggled at me.

"It's perfectly alright. Do you want me to tell you where his room is?"

"Yes, Please"

He told me and I thanked him about a thousand times and left quickly. When I found the room I quietly opened the door and walked in. I could barely see in the dark of the room but I saw him laying in his bed and he looked like he was asleep but I couldn't tell. I found out quickly though.

I heard his sleepy voice say "Hey Phoenix"

"Hey" I said back

"Do you need something?" he asked sweetly / worriedly and sat up a little bit in bed.

"Oh not really. I was just wondering if I could maybe sleep in here with you..."

"Of course you can. Come on."

I climbed into the bed with him and laid down. He faced me and kissed my nose. He didn't have on a shirt and I am pretty sure he only had on boxers. For some reason it didn't really bother me though. I felt safe.

We eventually fell asleep I guess because when I woke up one of Pete's roommates that was not Patrick was trying to get his attention. I tapped him on the shoulder to wake him up and pointed at the man. The man motioned for Pete to come over to him and Pete got up and walked over. They stepped out in the hall and I couldn't hear all of what they were saying but I heard some key words. 

"...underage...pete...what do you think you're doing...jail...illegal...Pete your boxers are pink and purple you would not do well in prison..."

I laughed at that last part but in the back of my mind I was worried. I was underage. But we hadn't had sex and I didn't plan on it until I was married so he couldn't go to jail. Right?

Pete came back in.

"That was just Joe being Joe"

"Does he hate me?"

"Phoenix, he hasn't even met you properly no he does not hate you. How could anyone hate you? He was only telling me that because he cares about me... and you! He knows how I feel about you they all do and he just doesn't want me to do anything stupid is all."

"okay"

"Phoenix, you know I would never do anything without your consent and especially not until your 18 right?"

"Yeah I know"

"Good because its true"

"I love you Pete...please don't leave me. I wont tell anyone about you. There will be no way you can get in trouble"

"I would never leave you... I love you so much Phoenix. 


End file.
